A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk. Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure that I am drunk?" "Yeah, buddy, I'm sure." Said the cop. "Let's go." Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled"